Holly-Daze

 

I’m not feeling it. I have spent my entire life loving and enjoying the Fall through the New Year, celebrating with family, friends and co-workers. I’ve been the one who decorated my folks’ house (inside and out), helped cook food, organize parties…etcetera, etcetera…This year though…I just don’t feel like it. I long for summer, a ridiculous number of activities, and good outdoor fun. Oh well. It ain’t summer…



Some people just cope...Hahaha

There are so many different Holidays this time of year. No matter your religious, cultural, or family background there is a good chance you spend much of December celebrating something, even if you are the epitome of a lone wolf…you probably have some work related party or at least some tradition of being the most rad, cool, lonesome human being during a season of gathering.

I love to bake and give away sweets...

Traditions. That is what this time centers around. Perhaps everything you do, you do because that is what you have always done. Mindlessly buying expensive gifts for friends and family, making treats, going to a church you haven’t been to for 364 days. Whatever it is, whatever your reasons…I urge you to stop and think about why you do what you do.

I had a discussion with some folks and have read many posts about people abandoning Thanksgiving and rebelling against Christmas because of what the 2 represent. Typically we are smashed in the face with images of greed and gluttony. From where I stand, I have determined that holidays are only what you make them. If you disagree with the mainstream idea of what these days represent, then it is your responsibility to turn them into what that day/time/season means to you. Same goes for your everyday life.

Reject the negative and let this be an opportunity to make positive contributions to your community. I spent the last however many years helping my mom prepare and create the Christmas she wanted because it made her and the people around me happy. I gave them what they wanted, what they expected, because seeing a group of people I love the most in this world enjoying the work I had done is what I wanted.

Someone I love...Very much.

I still want to see them happy, but similarly, I want them to want the same for me. Exercising not only holiday traditions, but the manner by which I treat people year round has exhausted me. I give my love and time the way Americans spend money, with reckless abandon. I only have so much to give, I don’t have love and time like a credit card, my tank is empty and I fear the engine is about to cut out. I need love, and I don’t know where to find it.

Maybe the perception is that I have changed. I prefer to view it as evolving. For this reason, and those listed above, I will spend this season giving only what I am able. Traditions have to start somewhere.

I love giving gifts. It doesn’t matter the time of year, or if it is someone’s birthday, if I see something I think a person would enjoy, I like to get it for them. I don’t always just happen upon items, by listening to what people say about what they want, and what things are important to them, I often scour the internet researching how to get my hands on some priceless or seemingly irreplaceable items. I have a very hard time giving gifts that mean nothing…such a hard time that I don’t do it.

My mother had six children. Her holiday seasons have always been hectic. I have always helped prepare, execute and clean up the “doin’s.” This year I volunteered to host the dinner Christmas Eve. I have heard many complaints about what I would prepare from those who never contribute. I decided that they do not have a say. It was only at this point that they offered to prepare “food” of their choosing; they do not understand that would defeat the purpose. I want to have a Compassionate Christmas.

The Fire Place...5 siblings, 2 significant others, 5 nieces/nephews, and parents...

I have yet to decide about decorations…I have a fair amount. I will admit I love lights. LOVE LIGHTS…despite my disinterest in this season as a whole, I, like most living breathing things, am attracted to bright, shiny, flashing, colorful displays. So we’ll see how far I get with that, and trees and what have you…trees do smelllllll soooooo gooooooood. 

I’m not trying to be a party pooper…What I have wanted in the past is not what I want right now. I am making an attempt to do what I think is right, for me and for my community. This difference feels weird, and I am experiencing some guilt as a result, I don’t know how to remedy it. Some people want to “Keep Christ in Christmas,” others just want 60” TVs; I want Compassion and support, maybe I should write Santa…